God hushed me up

Good morning ,

On May 21, I woke up HOT. Not physically hot. Hot with an attitude. Somebody was going to hear about it. 

I was mad at the staff at the hospital. The nurses misunderstood my words and relayed a message that was not what I communicated. The doctor listened to the nurses without consulting me first. I was already so overwhelmed. I had enough.

Lots of thoughts went through my mind that morning. I knew I was falling into a trap of complaining and seeking revenge, instead of trusting in the Lord.

I reached out to a friend group to pray for my future conversation with the doctor. 

I sat at the kitchen table feeling so discouraged. When would things turn around? When would there be better news? When would this end?

Feeling desperate for relief, I asked God, “Haven’t I been through enough?”

And I immediately heard a soft voice in my head, “You haven’t been to the cross.”

Everything stopped. 

He hushed me right up, and I just sat there in awe once again. 

I felt his gentleness and mercy, and I was able to extend them to the doctor during our conversation. After getting off the phone with the doctor, I felt peace and relief. I was honestly surprised because I woke up ready for a verbal battle. 

I will never forget those words, “You haven’t been to the cross.” I’m so thankful for a God who steps into the details, who gently corrects and guides, and who comforts me when I’m a hot mess. 

May was a month of chaos. It broke me and strengthened me in a way that I can’t fully articulate yet. I just want to remind you once again - God is good! He is faithful, and we can rest knowing he is a MIGHTY GOD.

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